Pre-Op testing... and the Waiting.

Well.. If I told you that everything was easy in terms of my level of anxiety and general nerves- leading up to Surgery Date... I would be liar. I had a week's time to process arrival of my surgery date, and being in the throes of being unemployed the week before- I had ample things to keep my mind busy on.

I spent my days, applying online for jobs, faxing my resume, dropping my resume off at specific places I knew were hiring, and even picking up applications to fill out and return when I was back in the area.

My nights were a different story.

And it is why I can say without hesitation- that the Enemy- The Devil.. loves to get you alone especially when you are tired, and sitting on the fence of peace and fear. And at night is when the Devil knows you are the most vulnerable. If you cant sleep- the Devil actually hovers near and waits for the silence of the night to start to evoke negative thoughts, and at the slightest bit of door opening by our human-ness-- The Devil bursts in and makes itself at home.

That is why I have not turned on my compter at night in the days prior to surgery. It is so easy to get online and get info that may or may not relate to your condition.. but it can scare you, or make you imagine things that you dont need to have running thru your head.

I went thru a few nights of uneasy sleep on my couch, and left the TV on to help me drown out the Devil's musings.. and got decent nights of sleep.

I did have to have some aid in helping me relax enough to sleep a few times a week since mid April due to the stress at my Ex-Job, and the constant fear of the Economic Reality affecting my job in the financial Industry... and the week prior to surgery was no exception.

It was on Friday, May 24th, when I came into my House and declared that the Devil was not welcome in my house anymore.. If you have havent declared that before... Try It!! Declare IT.

The Power of Lord is stronger than any lie the Devil can tell you. By Declaring it in every room if you need to.. The Devil has no choice to flee. He knows the Bible better than any minister/preacher around, and the Devil will use what he knows and what you dont know, especially in the face of a trial-- and seduce you into believing that you are alone.

And I know better.

From Friday night on, I felt a huge sense of focus and settled into what was about to happen. Sure I was concerned about the fact having this surgery may damage my laryngeal nerves, and damage my voice, ruin my voice. But I was also aware that this was not a condition that was going to get any better with time. In Fact, it would get worse. Then surgery would be more invasive and increasing my chances at losing my voice all together.

I went to Service at my home church Harvest Bible Chapel in Rolling Meadows, IL, and I was accompanied by my dear friends- the Michelle and Randy and their darling kids. Service was great! I ended up heading to the chapel and had some really wonderfull time with the Lord as I played the piano, sang old standards, some of my songs, and even began to write a very meaningful worship song- ' You are My Song'. It is a Song about the act of Worship and posture of Worship, the offering of my voice in song, was something the song is not focused on, as I will finish the song as The Lord walks me thru the surgery, the recovery, and vocal rehab that will be ahead of me. But I did go ahead and record it. I may post the recording at some point.

The weekend went by fairly quickly, as I approached the Pre-Op day of testing at the Hospital.

I got word that my COBRA Insurance would be continuous and I sent my paper work to the Former HR dept, and thanks to the current Administration- They passed a law that actually allows people to qualify for COBRA healthcare payment assistance. It reduces the normally sky high COBRA rate for continuing the healthcare when you are fired.

Check out the link for more information http://www.dol.gov/ebsa/COBRA.html

My Pre-Op testing went well and I was told to come back to the hospital the next AM by 9 40 am, for surgery. I went home, fell asleep on my couch by 11 pm, and was up by 6 am ready to get to the hospital.

My mom and I sat out on my porch as I stared at my newly Pedicured toes, in Ruby Red Pumps by OPI, and I stared at my tattoo on my right foot, Held my dog, and waited for the clock to strike 9 AM so we could head over to the hospital.

I was ready. I had Faith in not only my God, but Peace about surgery and the Dr. that was going to perform it.

But I would have traded places with anyone in heart beat.